I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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