Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
