dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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