I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You are the jesus of drinking
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
