soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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