Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
