Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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