just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
