Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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