you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
