Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
