With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
