lets start a swedish sibling band together
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
