I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
