i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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