Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
