This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
