I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
