i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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