Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
