so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize