You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
