plz talk dirty to me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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