I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
