just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
