The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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