I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
