drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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