Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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