Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's official drugs can't kill me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
