Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
