we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
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I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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