Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
