i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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