How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
