my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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