Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
