Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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