I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize