giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
