He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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