think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
