just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
