my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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