i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize