Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
As shirtless as possible
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
