Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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