I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
