mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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