I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
