i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
