found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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