Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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