He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
