There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
