Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
