I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
