i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
