two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
