I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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