His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
