No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
