I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
