i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
