Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
