we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
