You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
zippers are such a cool invention
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
