Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
