u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
